


Predictable

by LoveandScience



Category: Discworld - Terry Pratchett
Genre: M/M, sybil's dead i'm sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-26
Updated: 2017-11-11
Packaged: 2018-01-17 02:22:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 3,214
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1370383
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LoveandScience/pseuds/LoveandScience
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A Vimes/Vetinari fic.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So, it's been three years since I last updated this fic. At this point, I intend to finish it. I've outlined the story and will try to finish this fairly quickly, because I don't like to leave things hanging. It's been a busy three years, and things are calm while I'm recovering from surgery, so this is the best chance I have, I figure. First three chapters were tweaked for style and a tiny bit of content.

Vimes cursed, his expression horrified as he shoved the Patrician off of him. Ready for this reaction, Vetinari may have looked, to an outside observer, to have stepped backward of his own will.

“My apologies, Sir Samuel. I thought you would have expected this, after everything.”

The copper glared silently, bringing a sleeve to his mouth and wiping his lips clean, ridding himself of any residue of the other man.

“Very well. Don't let me detain you,” the Patrician returned to his chair and set to work reading the newest complaints from the Guild Leaders. A few minutes passed before he set the unread letter on his desk to look up. “I will detain you, Your Grace.”

Vimes shrugged, ignoring the bait of his title. “Always wondered if you'd follow through on that threat.” With that, he threw the Patrician an irreverent, mirthless grin before turning to leave.

As he reached for the door handle, the words Vimes wanted came to him, and he turned around. He stormed back across the room, crossing the invisible barrier to move behind Lord Vetinari's desk, scowling down at him. “I was _married_ ,” he growled, “for almost _twenty years_. I loved her, you bastard, and I'm not going to just forget about all of that.”

The calm face that stared up at him just made him angrier.

“If you think you can just replace her, you're wrong,” he seethed, voice becoming deadlier as the volume decreased.

A slight frown tugged at Vetinari's lips. “I would not endeavor to replace Lady Sybil, and I would not have expressed my interest without her blessing. I did, _in fact_ , Commander, have a close friendship with her.”

Vimes reeled at the information, but the momentum of rage carried him on. “Oh, so you two were planning behind my back? Again? I'm not a bloody puppet! Maybe I don't want this! You think you can read everybody so well and predict everything. Don’t touch me again!” He angrily made his way back to the door, slamming it behind him. Not his best witticism, he thought, but hopefully it would get the message across.


	2. Chapter 2

Vimes didn't show up for their next regular meeting, nor did he attend the one after. When he was a no-show the third time, two palace guards politely knocked on his office door and demanded he report to the Patrician in ten minutes, to which Vimes politely replied, “Bugger off.”

They left, which should have been the first sign that he ought to have escaped out a window, but he was tired and still angry and wasn't thinking clearly. Almost immediately, his door opened again, and he looked up to see Vetinari locking it behind him.

Before he could even curse under his breath, the Patrician stood across from him, and Vimes found himself thankful for the desk between them.

“I have been most patient for you to… move past my indiscretion. You have a problem with me, and that's fine,” the black-clad man began, “but your refusal to meet about security measures puts the city at risk, and I will not have that. If you do not wish to speak with me, personally, you may talk with Drumknott, instead.”

Vimes glared. Like he could move past that! It was all he could think about, either from anger or lust, and he resented it. “Fine. Where is he?”

“At the palace,” Vetinari answered, not breaking eye contact. “Vimes,” he said, still radiating calm, “neither I nor Lady Sybil intended manipulation. It was out of respect for your marriage that I asked her permission. Nobody assumed you'd want anything. Well,” he considered, briefly, “I assumed nothing until right before I acted. I mistook your expression and the fact that you were so comfortable being close to me. It seemed mutual.”

The Commander stared. Vetinari was admitting to being wrong? Vimes pinched himself and winced. Yep, he was awake. Then why was he suddenly standing and walking to the opposite side of his desk?

Oh. That's why.

Vetinari's lips were warm and pliant, but the contact was brief.

“And now what?” Vimes asked.

“Dinner, perhaps?”


	3. Chapter 3

Vimes began backing the Patrician toward the wall, watching his face for any sign of emotion. He felt a twinge of satisfaction when that ever-present placid mask slipped just a fraction as Vetinari’s back hit the hard surface. Vetinari's mouth fell open just slightly, a quiet but sharp intake of breath the only thing to indicate what effect Vimes had on him.

The copper flashed a small, predatory grin as he pressed his body flush against the other man. “Somehow,” he mused, relishing the fact that Vetinari couldn't suppress a sigh when Vimes settled his hand on the former-assassin's waist, tauntingly rubbing his thumb along the area, “I can't imagine us going out for dinner. People would talk.”

The Patrician regained some composure, having a conversation to focus on. “I wasn't suggesting it be public.”

“Mhmm. Wouldn't want people to assume I'm anything other than your terrier, right? Got to control public opinion.”

“Right. It has nothing to do with the fact that my more... arduous dissenters would try using you to get to me.”

Vimes rolled his eyes. “You do know I've been dealing with assassins and murderers for decades, don't you?”

“Vimes,” the Patrician looked tired as he took the Commander by the shoulders, pushing him lightly to arm's length, “you're the kind of man who's told not to dig, and digs anyway. You'll always do the just thing, no matter how in danger you are. You despise authority enough that you'll use your own just to infuriate the other nobles. It's not that hard to think of ways to lure you into a trap.”

The copper huffed, stepping back to remove himself of all contact with the Patrician.

Vetinari crossed over to the desk to retrieve his cane, which had been abandoned in the moment. “Seven o'clock at the Palace, then,” he informed Vimes, unlocking the door and shutting it behind him.

Staring after him for a few moments, Vimes scowled, then returned to his desk. He shouldn't have expected that the Bastard'd be any less of a bastard just because they were now “involved.”


	4. Chapter 4

Vimes arrived at the Palace a few minutes early, and Drumknott led him to a secluded dining area.

 “Lord Vetinari will be with you, momentarily,” the secretary advised.

Vimes politely thanked him, then was left alone to pick a seat. Knowing Vetinari, he probably knew who would sit where, so if Vimes could pick the _other_ seat, it might throw him off even just a little. He could take the seat farthest from where he came in, but Vetinari would probably guess he’d sit there because in all likelihood, he knew Vimes would want to mess with him a bit. So maybe he should sit in the closer chair. 

At exactly 7:00, Vetinari entered through the far door to find Vimes waiting against the wall. Vetinari smiled. “Have a seat, Sam.”

“What?”

“Considering the circumstances, I think that calling you anything else might be a little too formal.”

Vimes sat, hardly paying attention to which chair. He lifted the cover off of his plate and immediately looked questioningly at the Patrician. 

Vetinari smiled. “I know, I should be feeding you something healthy, but far be it from me to deny a man his favorites.”

Appreciatively, Vimes took a bite of the bacon and then the fried bits of something unidentified, relaxing substantially.

“I’d like to think we understand each other,” Vetinari said thoughtfully, “and for the time being we can continue like this. However, I want you to know that my ultimate goal for this is marriage. No need for the face, Sam, I realize that’s not an acceptable topic for a first date, but we’ve known each other long enough that you know I’m a planner, and I’d rather you not be left to wonder and come up with some ridiculous idea about what I’m doing this for. This can be a casual arrangement for as long as you’d like, and there will be no pressure on my end to move things at a pace faster than you are comfortable with. However, I will be waiting for your word, because I am ready to make this official at any time.”


	5. Chapter 5

Vimes couldn't seem to pull his lips away from Vetinari's, though he knew the Patrician had somewhere to be. Vimes wondered how long he'd have til these feelings wore off, and if Vetinari had always been so alluring, or if Vimes' judgment had just been shot after too many years on The Watch.

"I really have to go," Vetinari insisted, but made no move to get up. They fell back into a slow kiss, Vetinari's mouth opening slightly to invite Vimes in.

"I want..." Vimes started, trailing off as he leaned back, controlling himself from continuing. "I want," he started again, "to make sure we're on the same page."

Vetinari waited. Vimes swallowed.

"You said you were waiting for me to say what I want, so, I want this as an exclusive thing."

The Patrician smiled, ignoring the rapping on his door from Drumknott, who was growing impatient with Vetinari's reduced sense of timeliness. "I see. Yes, we're on the same page, Sam."

A month of being called that, and it was still odd.

"I shouldn't detain you any longer," The Commander grinned.

A glint ran across Vetinari's eyes. "What I would give up, to be detained by you. But I will see you tomorrow at the usual time."


	6. Chapter 6

He had almost died.

Well, not in real life, but the nightmare had  _felt_ real, and while Vimes didn't think of himself as the type to get worked up over a nightmare, this was different. In the past, he had dreamed of losing Sybil or Young Sam, and immediately upon waking set to work strengthening the home's security, adding a new trap for the assassins each time. But being afraid of losing them had made sense; they were family and he loved them fiercely. Vetinari, on the other hand...

He wasn't in love with Vetinari the way he had been in love with Sybil.

Someone had told Vimes, once, that nightmares were urgent messages from the brain trying to let you know that something needed to be done or acknowledged. Apparently, the brain wasn't honest enough to tell you the message outright; it expected you to decode symbols and whatnot in order to get to the message. Vimes had always dismissed that as a con. After all, you ought to know what's going on enough in your head that you don't need your brain to go haywire with symbols and horror stories while you're trying to get a good night's rest.

Vimes rubbed the sleep from his eyes and yawned, knowing he couldn't sleep again tonight. He'd been ignoring a nagging feeling for the better part of the last year, so maybe his brain really was trying to get at something.

Vetinari wanted to marry him, and seemed to be sure of that before they'd even started this sort of relationship. Vimes hadn't thought that far in the future, and he had successfully distracted himself with where their relationship was at, until now. Apparently, that was over. He wasn't ready to marry Vetinari and he wasn't in love. However, Vimes couldn't pretend any longer that he wasn't all in on this, and that marriage was out of the question.

After this year, he could see himself getting to that point.


	7. Chapter 7

Young Sam studied his father's face, wondering about the discomfort he saw there. His dad only got this uncomfortable when talking about Lord Vetinari and their relationship, or when he had given talks about things Young Sam really didn't want to hear about from a parent.

Young Sam missed his mother, and always would; both he and his dad would, for that matter. And it was because of that that he understood his dad eventually beginning to date someone else. His mother had thought very highly of Lord Vetinari, and the man had never been disrespectful toward him. It was a bit of a shock when his dad began dating The Patrician, but that was more because Vimes had always called him "that bastard" when he thought Young Sam wasn't listening.

"Er, as you know, Vetinari and I, that is, it's been three years..." his dad began, uncharacteristically awkward.

"Are you two finally getting married?" Young Sam asked, hoping to make it easier on his father.

Vimes looked down for a moment, then seemed to force himself to meet his son's gaze. "Yes, unless it, er, bothers you."

The younger Sam Vimes shook his head. "It's okay, Dad. I'm happy for you, I just want you to be happy."

"Thank you. You don't have to be okay with it, you know."

He gave his dad a hug, which the older Vimes returned. "I know."

Young Sam found himself walking the familiar trail to The Yard sometime later, smiling when his girlfriend bounded over to greet him. All things considered, he was lucky in life. He knew his mother would have wanted he and his father to live happily even when she was gone, and he tried his best to honor that. Before his dad and Lord Vetinari were together, he had worried that his dad would never find the joy in life again. Thankfully, he had been wrong, and things were looking more up than they had in a long time.


	8. Chapter 8

Smoothing the wrinkles in his robe, Vetinari didn't respond to the knowing stares of the Watch officers as he exited the building. His engagement to Sam had been announced to the public, leading to mixed reactions. A great deal of people were shocked that Vetinari would ever partake in something like marriage, and many seemed to be placing bets that this was solely a practical arrangement. This was fine with Vetinari. He purposely worked this long to craft an image of a cold but usually benevolent despot. Vimes wasn't concerned, either, as he didn't normally spend much time worrying about his public image; although, he did seem rather pleased that it made the other nobles angry over accusations of favoritism. The Patrician smiled at that. Vimes was who he might have been had he not prioritized ambition.

Nobby Nobbs shuffled nervously between gazing at The Patrician like he wanted to say something, and staring at the floor. Lord Vetinari paused, looking at him expectantly.

"Er, Lord Vetinari, I wanted to know, well, when the invitations to your wedding might be going out. Me and the rest of the officers were wondering if you were having a big ceremony, and who might be invited," he asked despondently, like he'd drawn the short straw and been made to find out.

Vetinari offered a small smile, taking pity on Sam's colleague. "If we have a large ceremony, we would certainly invite everyone here. However, we may opt for a small, private setting. I'm sure Commander Vimes will inform you as soon as we've come to a decision."

Nobby nodded and scuttled back toward the wall, looking steadfastly at the ground.

"If there are any further questions, please," Vetinari's smile widened slightly to show his teeth, "do not hesitate to ask your Commander."

 

When Carrot explained why the force was suddenly inundating Vimes with questions, Vimes vowed revenge.


	9. Chapter 9

Vimes looked from a smiling Young Sam in the audience to his best man, Carrot, and groomsmen, Detritus and Willikins. He tugged at his uncomfortable get-up, missing his street clothes. Although Vetinari convinced him to make this a city affair, meaning the whole city was expected to turn out to watch their vows, Vimes had insisted the wedding be short and to the point. A compromise that allowed the crowd to fulfill curiosity, which Vetinari said was healthy for his reputation now and then, and Vimes to not be stranded in a sea of oogle-ers for very long. Oogle-ers watched in private moments, with a dampering effect that increased exponentially for every person oogling. Since Vimes had to endure an entire city of people, it was only fair that the ceremony move fast.  
Vetinari appeared at the top of the stairs from the Palace doors, and Vimes unconsciously bit his lower lip. In just little while, they'd be back behind those doors and alone.  
Drumknott and two clerks Vimes vaguely recognized walked down by Vetinari's side, solemn and silent.

"Congratulations, Sir," Carrot said as the ceremony ended and music began to play. Vimes nodded in thanks before Vetinari was sweeping him away up the Palace steps.  
His husband leaned in. "It's over with, Sam. Let's go before anyone tries to pull us into a conversation."  
Appreciatively, Vimes followed, hand laced with his husbands. He couldn't stop saying "husband" in his head, it was almost surreal, except Vimes tended to believe what happened right in front of him actually happened in some capacity.  
They were comfortably silent as Vetinari led him to the room they'd picked to share after marriage. Had Vimes moved to Vetinari's old room, he'd have had a nagging feeling that it wasn't quite his. If they'd chosen to live at Vimes' home, Vetinari would appear less of a tyrant than he preferred. Anyway, it would have been strange to share with Vetinari the bed he'd shared with Sybil.  
"You warned me when we started this, that you wanted marriage. You have that. What do you want, now?"  
"Long-term? A satisfying marriage and to eventually retire with you to a small rural cottage."  
"Fair enough. And short-term?"  
Vetinari's eyes gleamed.


	10. Chapter 10

Vetinari fit his lips gently with Vimes’, tugging him in as his other arm held him closer. Vimes leaned Vetinari against the open doorway, feeling a sense of freedom as the warm breeze drifted lazily through their new home.

“Sam,” Vetinari kissed him more earnestly, a hand drifting up his husband’s shirt.

“I know,” Vimes held their waists closer as he deepened the kiss.

While Vimes could never completely retire to a house in the country, he could certainly enjoy half the year with his husband here. One thing Vimes had really appreciated in this marriage was that Vetinari was an easy person to live with; they could be quiet together, they both picked up after themselves, and nobody had any gross habits. Sybil had been a good housemate, as well, and Vimes felt lucky; he certainly knew many people that loved their partner but had a hard time going home at the end of the day.

“You should be thinking about me,” Vetinari said, and Vimes realized he was on his back in their bed, not remembering how they got there.

“I think about you too much as it is.”

“Do you?”

Vimes kissed him deeply, not wanting to stop, and conversation subsided.

 

Some time later, the two walked lazily around the outskirts of town, exploring the new environment. These moments of peace didn’t unsettle either anymore. The world had changed in substantial, mostly positive ways because of the two of them. Although, Vetinari would say, largely to his husband’s credit. They deserved to enjoy the sun for a while.

 

Life wasn’t perfect, and neither expected that. They were happy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the kind comments I have received. They made me want to keep with this story, even though I know it took a long time to finally get to the end.


End file.
